#kind of convinced that randy is a parallel to this too in how he genuinely benefits from benson being so uninhibited and impulsive

[bensonsknuckles]

benson’s relationship with tenderness towards randy is so fraught and conflicted and it drives me insane because it’s almost all projection? like on one hand he genuinely wants to comfort and help randy, show him the softness he deserves (benson deserved). but every little pathetic thing randy does, every moment of ineptitude or weakness or submission, is either something benson sees in his past self and wants to punish or stamp out (because he’s convinced himself that showing weakness means getting hurt), or something he sees as denied to his past self, and then he’s raging because why does randy get to be soft and innocent and coddled when benson never was. he’s earnestly protective, both of randy and of what benson has convinced himself randy represents, but he’s also so angry and bitter and resentful. so he caresses randy and cries over his wounds but also hits him and controls him and like??? he’s punching a mirror the whole time????????